Emotional Abuse-Two Parents vs. One Child and No One Believes You

This goes out to any child/adult who has suffered from these experiences…I didn’t have anyone who could fathom what I was living through when I was growing up, or well into my adult years either…abuse is hard core…whether it’s physical, or mental; they both cut just as deep.  And I am not condoning physical abuse in any way, shape, or form but I personally think that mental abuse is extremely insidious because you don’t really have proof that anything was ever really done to you…so, it just sits there locked inside your head…and what I really want to address here is when two parents abuse one child…it is bad enough to be abused by members of your family, but when you have no one to witness what was done to you, and you have no one on your side, it can completely destroy you…from the inside out…

The message here is that you are not alone…I know that it sounds trite and once upon a time I probably would have scoffed at someone saying that crap to me too…but, it’s true…and now that we have blogs and have been afforded the ability to babble non-stop and peacock our expert advice all over the internet to anyone who stops by, I thought that it was high time that I at least chime in about something that may of service to someone in pain, or in need.  I felt very alone growing up because of the abuse that I received.  I felt like no one understood anything that was actually transpiring for me on a daily basis…I was an only child and I also was not close to anyone in my extended family at all either…so, no one had my back there ever…it was hard for me to get close to other people because most of the stuff that I confessed sounded completely insane to others…you know when someone is describing some random act of nuttiness performed by another and the person that is listening is thinking, “wtf…what did they do to deserve that…?”  Well, the truth could be: absolutely nothing…sometimes other people are just not right in the head…and that’s the truth; plain and simple…

What can be about 80 billion times worse is when the people who have been abusing you are phenomenal actors/actresses who have several sides to their personalities; who are well liked by almost everyone they come in contact with…so, the average joe would never suspect them of anything, because they seem like the model citizen to others…I even remember some of my friends saying to me, “Your parents are so cool; I wish they were mine!”

Now whenever I stood up to the abuse, which was almost daily, I was repeatedly laughed at and told that I was crazy, that it was all in my head, and that no one would ever believe me…both parents hand in hand; witnesses and enablers of one and other’s abusive atrocities…

That is enough to really weaken and disable someone’s positive belief system about themselves and the world at large…

So, if you are that person, or people…I say to you…I am sorry that you are living the nightmare and I am sorry if you do not feel loved…it has been a long, laborious process and journey for me thus far and I have come a long way, but I still have a long way to go; in terms of healing…I have had to subtract myself from toxicity by blood and learn to re-parent myself with no prototypes of a loving family whatsoever…basically what that boils down to is purposely orphaning myself and starting from scratch…

If you are alone for the holidays because of a parallel deal, I urge you to begin to try and re-align yourself and to try and muster up some kind of vision for moving forward in your life…staying stuck in it can get pretty ugly…and know that you are not alone…that people can sometimes do shitty things and yes, people lie/act and perform all kinds of heinous acts that others have no clue about; behind closed doors and for your eyes only…and I am sorry that you do have a clue about it; as I do…and please know this…you did nothing to deserve any of it; ever…nothing…absolutely nothing…and even if the whole world doesn’t believe you; I do.

© 2013 Regan McCoy All Rights Reserved

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One Reply to “Emotional Abuse-Two Parents vs. One Child and No One Believes You”

  1. Been trying to figure out something witty or pithy to write since I haven’t spoken to you in years. But fuck it, that’s not what this is about… I KNEW you then, and I knew “THEM” then too. All of you were the entirety of my world – in the sense that that was all I really cared about.

    I so wanted to take you away from it and “save” you from the torture and anguish, but I was too young and fucked up and just generally too desperate myself.

    But for whatever it is worth, I know the truth about the phony public personas and (I’m being kind here) the “inadequacy” of their parenting.

    I am witness to the cruel mind games and I do believe you.

    I’ve read (and felt) everything you’ve posted here and I’ve marveled at your jewelry too. You are still as unique and amazing as I remember you to be. It pains me greatly to see you struggle with the past… but I know it is part of you and can never disappear. How you’ve dealt with that is part of who you are now and what makes you extraordinary in a world of not so extraordinary people.

    Regan, you’ve never really been alone in your thoughts and suffering, you probably have just not realized the permanent impact you have made on some people.

    I wish you……. everything.

    H

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